I have a few things I need to get off my chest…

I know I don’t do text posts at all but this is my blog and I need an outlet. If hopeless teenage rants aren’t your thing, I don’t know what you are doing on tumblr. Just keep scrolling, and don’t pay any mind to the next paragraphs.

This past month +, I dated someone who completely took advantage of me and lied right to my face. I have a very low self-esteem and I consistantly told him that (for the sake of my story/rant, I will now refer to him as B). I told B that I couldn’t be hurt anymore - that my heart just wouldn’t take it. In fact, I started to date him because I knew (or thought, in hindsight) that he was so nice. A girl came into the picture shortly after he told me he loved me (mind you, he told me after 8 days of dating). This girl, who I will call F, is super gorgeous… the kind of girl that guys flock to… literally. She has so many boys at her fingertips, yet no one would do anything with her because she is so ‘devoted’ to her boyfriend who is in juvie. B would ALWAYS hang out with her, but so would every boy in a 30 mile radius. It really freaked me out and I was always so worried. But EVERYONE reassured me that nothing was happening.

Long story short, I was wrong. He liked her and now that we broke up, he has no shame in publicly declaring his love for her on FaceBook. I’m a fucking wreck. I knew that they would have a thing but I was so blinded by lies that I believed what I wanted to.

I feel uglier and more pathetic than ever and all I want is to cuddle with someone who will tell me that everything will be ok.

It’s a shit feeling. I just want to talk to someone, anyone who will listen.

I want to be distracted. But I am forced to sit and think and think and think… knowing that thinking has always been the downfall of me. I’m tired of being alone with my thoughts.

So now I leave you to continue on with your fuckin’ perfect lives. Sorry for the rant. Now back to the photos…